Chew On This

Mrs. LG, as we'll call her, since use of her real name may result in LG's loss of the use of his right arm, was not so happy with LG's recent comparison of her with Lucille Ball. 

Mrs. LG meets LG for the first time.

LG considers that comparison to be a compliment.  After all, Lucy was an international film and TV star; who wouldn't enjoy such a comparison? 

Well, Mrs. LG didn't, apparently. 

LG asks those who agree with him to weigh in with a comment.  Those who disagree should just sit on their hands.

Here's another way that LG feels that Mrs. LG resembles Lucy:  Shortly after Mrs. LG gave birth to her first child 19 years ago, she gave up chewing gum.  She said it was too strenuous given all of her mothering responsibilities.  It wasn't until recently, after her youngest child turned 14, that she resumed chewing gum.




So, according to Mrs. LG's way of thinking, we're to believe that chewing gum is a physically exhausting endeavor. 

Really? Seriously? 

Mrs. LG says that other mothers out there will understand, and relate to, her position. 

LG doesn't buy it.

But, just to indulge Mrs. LG for a moment, let's have a glimpse into her world of gum chewing:

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John: "Kathy, would you like to join the new gym that just opened up down the street with me? I hear that they have state-of-the-art equipment!" 

Kathy: "No thanks John, I just bought a ten-pack of Juicy Fruit at Costco.  I'm going to work out with that for a few months." 

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Warming up for the big gum chew.

Drill Sergeant:  "SO YOU WANT TO BE A NAVY SEAL SON?  WELL THIS OUTFIT ISN'T FOR WIMPS! SHOW ME WHAT YOU'RE MADE OF BY CHEWING THIS PACK OF BUBBLE YUM IN UNDER FIVE MINUTES OUR YOU'RE OUTTA HERE!"

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ESPN Announcer: "It's hard to believe that Lance Armstrong is back for a try at his 8th Tour De France victory at his age.  But he says that he's been chewing Double Bubble regularly and is in the best shape of his life." 

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You get the point by now.  Chewing gum as exercise.  Not really believable in LG's world.  

LG suspects that once Mrs. LG sees this post, his head may have an unexpected meeting with the business end of a rolling pin.  Luckily he's been chewing a lot of gum lately and his head is in pretty good shape...